Happily Never After
by ice shredder
Summary: "I plunged my knife into Sissy's back. A lovely red flower blossomed over her pristine white dress and all I could think as she collapsed was 'Thank God for cloaking spells." Will be told in brief separate chapters. 3-shot featuring Alaric, Jo, and Kai. T for safety. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Happily Never After**

 **Fandom: The Vampire Diaries**

 **Author: ice shredder**

 **Spoilers: episode 6x21, toward the end of the aborted wedding.**

 **Summary: "I plunged my knife into Sissy's back. A lovely red flower blossomed over her pristine white dress and all I could think as she collapsed was 'Thank God for cloaking spells, or I wouldn't have been able to put a stop to this revolting Hallmark Channel fairytale.'" Will be told in separate POVs. 3-shot featuring Alaric, Jo, and Kai. T for safety. Enjoy!**

I'm getting married.

Sounds surreal, I mean after all the scrapes and near-misses and cheating death, I'm finally marrying the woman I love.

The church looked beautiful. I couldn't have pulled it off without the girls' help...but the inside had been transformed into a palace fit for a king...and his queen.

Everything was perfect. I was blessed by friends...no my _family_ sitting in the pews beaming with joy. Stefan and Caroline sat together, and a brief pang of regret tugged at my heart. _Elena_ should've been at his side. Not up on the altar with Damon...those two couples never really felt right to me even after all this time...they were better as friends...but this wasn't the time or place to be feeling regret. It was my _wedding_ for cripes sake, so I shoved it to the back of my mind. Jo looked like a goddess coming down from heaven to grace the earth with her presence. I waited eagerly at the altar, smiling. Feeling like the luckiest man on the planet, and wondering what did I do to deserve this angel.

I guess miracles _do_ exist in this world.

My breath stopped as I watched her glide down the aisle on her father's arm. God. She's so breathtaking. Is this beautiful, witty, intelligent woman about to be mine forever? I still can't believe it.

Damon smiled, a rare sight. Said he was proud of me and I couldn't help feeling the same about him. Elena and Bonnie changed him so much. I was proud of all my kids.

Next thing I knew Jo was clasping my hands and the minister asked us to begin reciting our vows. Mine spilled from my lips, full of love and tenderness. Thrilled when I saw my reflection in Jo's eyes and I was mirrored in hers. The world fell away and all I saw, heard or felt while I was speaking was her. My queen. Everything was perfect.

Then it was her turn to return the favor. Her side of our vows when we practiced them were absolutely beautiful. I'd kiss her and then our forever would start-

Her pained gasp snapped me out of my love-induced daze. I didn't see the blood staining her gorgeous sparkling gown until horrified gasps from the crowd alerted me. I looked down at her stomach, where her womb was, where our-

Oh my God. No, no, no, _NO! THE BABIES! OUR BABIES ARE IN THERE WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!_

Then she cried out and collapsed into my arms. Everything became a blur.

I remember three things clearly.

The sickening stench of blood.

Elena's sharp gasp.

And Kai's playful sadistic voice.

I held Jo with one arm, eyes darting back from her to Kai holding a big-ass knife in his hand. Dripping with _my fiancee's blood._

HOW THE HELL IS HE HERE?! He shouldn't be here. Bonnie trapped him in 1903. He CAN'T be here, this can't be happening, how'd he get out, how'd he even _get in here?!_ He can't be here, he can't be, this isn't real, it can't be...it's just a horrible nightmare...I'll wake up any second now...

But Jo wouldn't wake up. The blood wouldn't stop flowing. God, _why can't I wake up..._ please...someone help me! Tears pooled in my eyes, Somebody...anybody...help us...

Kai was rambling on about waiting for the death do us part but he decided it was too on the nose for his liking.

I clutched my queen tighter. She can't die on me. She deserves her fairytale ending! _I_ deserve one dammit!

Kai's gonna pay. I'm gonna kill his evil little-

Jo's father rose in anger from his seat just as Kai lifted his hand. A high-pitched whine pierced my skull and I dimly heard screams erupt from the audience and-

 _makeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstop...MAKEITSTOP-ithurtssomuch-!_

 _"Miss me? No?"_

 _ohmigod this can't be happening...hurts...it hurts...it hurts...can't be real-_

 _"Oh well."_

The chill generated from those two words didn't have time to slide down my back. Kai flicked his wrists still holding that bloody knife-

A powerful shockwave exploded everything to pieces.

Glass.

Wood.

Flowers.

People.

Went flying-

I tumbled over.

Smacked my head on the altar steps then...

Fell into black silence.


	2. Chapter 2

I woke up with a bad case of wedding jitters. What's the matter with me? This is _Ric._ The man I love.

My knight in shining armor.

As I set about getting ready I had to pinch myself. I'm actually _getting married_ today.

My lipstick tube clattered out of my shaking hand. Oh God.

What if I mess up my vows? What if I trip over my dress and fall down right in the middle of the aisle in front of everyone? What if I get sick and throw up all over the place? I mean, I'm _pregnant_ for cripes sake. Forty and carrying twins.

So when Elena showed up at my door I felt less alone. Or less likely to vomit. Sheesh. I gotta stop worrying! My fairytale ever after's about to commence and after the hell I've been through I never thought I'd get my chance to shine. The monster's locked away in his dungeon. He can't hurt anybody and it's all thanks to Bonnie.

I owe this day to her. All of us do. But she isn't here to help me get ready. Weird.

It seems only a few minutes but then next thing I remember, I was being summoned to the church's back room to get ready. Oh my God. Is it time already? I checked my phone and gasped. It's time. Wow. I spent the whole day in a daze. Can you blame me?

Time's got no meaning when you're about to spend the rest of your life with the man you love. And I love him so very, very much. Forever can't come soon enough for the both of us and our kids.

I kept expecting to wake up from this beautiful dream. Expecting _something_ to go wrong because there hasn't been a day in my life since 1994 that _hasn't_ been touched with fear or terror thanks to Kai. Yeah. That's gotta be it. But when Elena helped sheathe me in white lace and rhinestones (where _is_ Bonnie she should've been here a while ago) it really hit me. Everything's gonna be okay. Today will be a day to remember because it's storybook perfect. I turned this way and that, admiring my reflection.

Elena cooed over me using words like _heavenly, breathtaking, stunning._ I gave her a watery smile. Elena told me I looked like a princess...no a _queen._ Ric wouldn't be able to take his eyes off of me. Well, I sure hope not! As far as I was concerned, he'd be the only man I'd see in the room.

No hiccups.

No cold feet.

No more doubts.

Let's do this. My king awaits.

I stepped into the hall, where Daddy stood waiting to escort me to the chapel. He looked so handsome (but not as much as Ric) in his suit, his eyes raw and wet. Oh no. If _he_ starts crying I'll lose my mascara.

He opened his arms and I stepped into them. Relishing their strength because the next set of arms would be Ric's for the rest of my life.

"Are you ready sweetheart?" He whispered into my hair.

"Yeah," I said not wanting this moment to end, but I was 40 not some clingy teenager. "I'm ready."

Our steps were measured as he walked me to the chapel doors.

"I never thought I'd see this day come," Daddy said gruffly to cover his emotions. "Your mother would be so happy for you honey. And...and I love you so much."

On impulse I threw my arms around his neck. "I love you too Daddy. And don't worry." I adopted my doctor's voice. "Ric's a good man."

He smiled. "There's no one else I'd entrust my little girl to."

The bridal music cued.

I held my head high and began the most important walk of my entire life. The candles and chandeliers bathed the chapel in an ethereal light. And my king stood at the altar smiling like I was an angel wrapped in shimmering moonlight.

Ric's hands were joined to mine. I gripped tight, not wanting to let go. In a few minutes they would be free to touch me wherever they liked.

But first the vows. We'd written our own and they were absolutely heartwarming. And when the minister gave Ric his cue he lauched into them with such love and tenderness that it left me breathless. My whole world at that moment was Alaric Saltzman. I saw my reflection in his eyes as he spoke about dodging fate and beating the odds and how I inspired him.

It sounded like a scene right out of a sappy romance movie but I didn't care. When he slipped the diamond on my finger I had to remember how to breathe again. Okay. _Okay. I can do this._

I opened my mouth ready to tell him what he was to me but I never got the chance.

A sharp burning pain choked off the words.

 _Snickt!_

It hurts...what _is_ it?!

 _SNICKT!_

 _ **SNICKT!**_

Ric was calling my name, but all I could feel was the pain spreading. It took a few seconds for my brain to register the source of the pain.

Cold.

Sharp.

Pointy.

 _Knife-_

I dimly heard Elena's frightened gasp as my attacker pulled the knife out of my back with a sickening squelch and I let out two agonizing cries before collapsing into Ric's frantic arms. Then I heard it. The most terrifying sound that's haunted me and my family for as long as I've been alive.

Kai's gleeful sadistic voice. On stage. Behind me. Taunting. Mocking.

But...that _can't_ be. He can't be here...there's no way...he's in _1903_ for cripes sake... _how...HOW IS HE HERE?!_

I struggle to stay conscious. For Ric. For everyone. But it's so hard...the bleeding won't stop.

 _"...gonna wait...death...part...seemed...on the...nose..."_

Kai's voice flickered in and out like a bad radio signal. What? What's he saying? Oh God. My mind flashes back to our darkened family home. Blood. Screaming. Knife in my spleen. It's 1994 all over again.

Except...except I can't get up. My whole body felt like it was filling with liquid lead from my womb. Something's wrong with the babies...they're not moving oh please...don't be dead... _pleasepleaseplease-_

Then a horrible metallic _screeing_ sound stabbed through my skull. Ric clutches me tighter.

 _"Miss me?"_

No.

" _No?_ "

Damn him.

" _Oh well._ "

No. Nononononono _nonono-!_ The pressure increased and I knew this was the end.

A rushing _whoosh_ punched out every window.

Glass whirled in a deadly blizzard.

Screaming.

Blood.

A second wave hit. Stronger than the first.

I fell towards the steps headfirst.

Ric still had his arm around me.

But I never felt the impact.

 **A/N: When I watched the ending to 6x21 I got serious Red Wedding vibes. For real. Kai's back and he's gonna go on the warpath and kill a whole bunch of people starting with what's left of his family and if the trailers for the finale are correct Elena looks like she'll succumb to her injuries unless they pull a last minute save out of their hats. And since the summary is in Kai's voice, he's gonna finish things up. Reviews are always appreciated! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

So.

Sissy's tying the knot eh? To her pefect _Prince_ Charming no less. Ugh. I always _hated_ those stupid fairytale thingies. Guy sees girl yada yada yada, gets in her pants, they marry, have kids, and die. The end.

Heh. And this surprises me _why_ again? Right, right I forgot. She was always the damsel in distress type to begin with. Just ask Luke-

Oh, that's right. You can't. He's dead. Died ta save the girl from the horrible monster. For all the good _that_ did. But apparently, such a disgustingly noble act granted him instant hero status.

Like, whatever.

Oops, I better get a move on. Time's a wastin' and I need to get ready. I changed into my tux at a hotel a couple blocks from the big shindig, taking extra care with my hair, making sure nothing was out of place. Sans the tie of course. I absolutely _hate_ those necktraps with a fiery passion. Unless I'm strangling someone with one.

That's the _only_ time I find it useful.

It was easy as pie using a cloaking spell to sneak unnoticed into the barn. Everyone was bustling around making last second adjustments so I moved into position behind the stage. I had a clear view and a quick exit. I checked to make sure my knife was ready for a quick draw. It was.

Perfect.

Guess there's nothing to do but wait.

I suppose.

I watched the chapel fill with unsuspecting victims. Aw, c'mon! When's she comin'?

Is it now?

Now?

How 'bout now?

I barely resisted the urge to start bouncing in place. I need to see her blood. Like _five minutes_ ago. She's gonna pay for betraying me. They're all gonna pay for making my life a living hell.

Especially lil' Bon-Bon. Oh yeah. I got somethin' _real_ special planned for her and that damned Damon. Oh and I can't forget his precious brother, Saint Stefan. And that blonde bimbo Caroline Forbes. They're just as bad as the Toxic Couple From Hell. Those two? _True loooove?_ Please. Don't make me laugh. They're vampires. And for the record? I hate them. Hate hate hate, hate them soooooo much I can't even right now.

Whatever trace of 'feelings' I might've picked up from dear old Luke the prison world purged 'em outta my system. Thank God. Emotions are for the weak.

Yanno, there's something beautifully ironic about weddings. They're happy, joyful occasions when a mix of a whole bunch of stuff and things mash together to form this sickening cocktail of bliss.

Right. Cause nothing _bad_ **eeeeeever** happens at a wedding.

Which is what's gonna make my big splash even more memorable.

Splashes of blood.

Blood.

 _Her_ blood.

Everyone's gonna bleed before the night's over.

I just can't get enough blood.

Oh goody. The fattened calf is _finally_ here!

Here comes the bride...all fit to die.

The vows start. Wow. Seriously. Can Saltzman get _any sappier?!_ Just listen to him, going on and on and _on_ about my stupid sister's brains, beauty and _dodging fate together for the rest of my life-_

You know what? Screw it. Screw all these people. Screw the Toxic Couple. Screw Saint Stefan and his blonde whore. Screw my douchebag father. Screw Liv. Screw this wedding. I can't stand listening to this disgusting 'happily ever after' word vomit anymore.

I snuck up behind Sissy taking care my shoes didn't squeak. Positioned my knife hand like so. Angles are important. I only get one maybe two sticks in possibly three but that's pushing it. Ha, get it? _Pushing_ it in...ah nevermind.

I plunged my knife into Sissy's back just as she opened her mouth to spew Saltzman's sap right back at him. Once. Twice. Three times the charm.

A pretty red flower blossomed on her pristine white gown and all I could think of in that moment was 'Thank God for cloaking spells.' Or I might not have been able to put a stop to this revolting Hallmark Channel fairytale.

"I was gonna wait till the death do us part," I said my tone dripping smug, callous triumph along with Sissy's bright sticky blood off the knife's unforgiving steel. "But it seemed a little on the nose."

A camera wouldn't do the scene justice. Alaric cradling my dying prey in his arms, shocked horror over his face. Dear Elena's sharp gasp just behind my right shoulder and her not sattacking me and snapping my neck on the spot confirmed my suspicions.

She was human again.

Good. I turned to face the horrified audience, too stunned to move. Everything happened to fast for them to run.

"Am I right?"

The bastard rose to confront me but I wouldn't have any of it. I raised my hand, releasing a high-frequency soundwave through the entire building. I can't begin to describe the ecstasy I was in, watching all these fools clutching their heads. Screaming.

All those delicious screams gave me an adrenaline rush unlike any other.

"Miss me?" I taunted grinning from ear to ear.

They couldn't answer. Too busy screaming in pain, but that's okay. It's a soothing lullaby to my ears.

"No?" The smile dropped from my face. "Oh well." I lifted both arms into the air bloody knife and all like some twisted conductor about to deliver the first downbeat and _pushed-_

Every window exploded.

Screams got louder.

I pushed again. Harder.

This time glass whited out the room.

A beautiful blizzard of death.

Chandeliers crashed.

Sissy fell sideways with her idiot fiance clutching her. A crazed grin spread across my face at the meaty thunk his head made on the wooden steps. At one half of the Toxic Couple bleeding heavily, glass embedded in her legs. Lilac bridesmaid dress ripped and torn in the skirt.

Knocked out for a long, long time.

Oops.

Have fun with this one Bon-Bon. Her life's linked to yours. You die...well say _adios_ to your best friend. That's your price for growing a spine. For crossing _me._

Oh and just so you know...there's no magic cure for this. No prince's kiss that'll wake her from the spell.

Both of you are inseperable now, in every sense of the word Bon-Bon. Only until _your_ death will you two truly _part._

Hey Elena. Bet you wish ya hadn't gulped the cure now. You got exactly what you deserved.

 **-end**

 **Reviews are love!**


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